“Jesus pitches so hard, nobody else can catch when he is pitching, so he plays pitcher and catcher at the same time. He is that quick.”
I made this fantasy card about 10 years ago. It depicts Christ as a ballplayer. Year after year in the Celestial League, he pitches nothing but perfect games, and hits a home run every time at bat. He has been the MVP every season since the league formed. His team has never given up a hit or lost a game. He pitched 162 perfect games last season, striking out every batter on 3 pitches. He hit a grand slam home run in every trip to the plate, 777 of them.
Imagine the chagrin of opponents, who can never expect to get so much as a hit against him. It seems like it might take some of the fun out of the game!
The card fails to mention that Jesus always leads the league in saves.